"One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of Goda€?s existence."

"Idleness is a constant sin, and labor is a duty. Idleness is the devil's home for temptation and for unprofitable, distracting musings; while labor profiteth others and ourselves."

"A man does not sin by commission only, but often by omission."

"Avarice is the sphincter of the heart."

"It is kind of strange watching your personal history become costume."

"'A penny for your thoughts?' 'A dollar for your death.'"

"Passion is univeral humanity. Without it religion, history, art, and romance would be useless."

"While I am not a fan of corporal punishment, I am not a fan of his friends Major Nuisance or General Disturbance."

"All leaders strive to turn their followers into children."

"A just war is in the long run far better for a nation's soul than the most prosperous peace obtained by acquiescence in wrong or injustice."

"You should always believe what you read in the newspapers, for that makes them more interesting."

"God is always on the side of the big battalions."