"The lessons this life has planted in my heart pertain more to caring than crops, more to Golden Rule than gold, more to the proper choice than to the popular choice."

"When kids hit the age of one, they're like miniature drunks. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh, then two minutes later they're crying. They drool."

"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."

"Your problems and mine, they are nothing new. They are all just another small part of the generic nightmare."

"The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games."

"Hemingway was a jerk."

"Before all else, we seek, upon our common labor as a nation, the blessings of Almighty God."

"I never did a day's work in my life. It was all fun."

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt."

"Education: the inculcation of the incomprehensible into the indifferent by the incompetent."

"I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute thair seed."

"Getting out of bed in the morning is an act of false confidence."