"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

"I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously."

"There are two things in particular that it [the computer industry] failed to foresee: one was the coming of the Internet(...,0); the other was the fact that the century would end."

"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefor excused from saving Universes."

"Only a fool walks backwards into the future."

"I refuse to be labeled immoral merely because I am godless."

"Perhaps better we not obscure the idea that happiness and misery, kindness and greed, and good works and bad deeds are within the capacities of us all, not merely a select few."

"Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings."

"When life hands you a lemon, say 'Yeah, I like lemons. What else ya got?'"

"A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat."