"I have one of those real old American built cars. The kind that just PUNCHES through accidents."

"If someone tells you he is going to make ``a realistic decision,' you immediately understand that he is going to do something bad."

"Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself."

"Good humor is a paradox. The unexpected juxtaposition of the reasonable next to the unreasonable."

"They'll talk to ya and talk to ya and talk to ya about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, its gonna scare 'em."

"When we say 'War is over if you want it,' we mean that if everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, we'd have peace."

"I say 'girl' because I love to annoy people. I love the word 'girl'. 'Gal' is pretty great, too. I don't just want to be called a woman. It sounds like someone with a mustache."

"That's the thing about Mother Nature, she really doesn't care what economic bracket you're in."

"MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt."

"I have learned, in whatever state I am ,therewith to be content."

"We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic."

"When a book and a head collide and there is a hollow sound, is it always from the book?"