"Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse."

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them."

"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"

"No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up."

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."

"An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way."

"Comedy is tragedy plus time."

"The art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one class of the citizens to give to the other."

"It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him."

"For certain people after 50, litigation takes the place of sex."

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."