"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it."

"Man, unlike any other thing organic or inorganic in the universe, grows beyond his work, walks up the stairs of his concepts, emerges ahead of his accomplishments."

"We ought not to judge of men's merits by their qualifications, but by the use they make of them."

"VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions."

"Nothing is too small to know, and nothing is too big to attempt."

"I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat."

"Beware the fury of a patient man."

"Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less advanced life-forms, and they'll call you crazy."

"Limited expectations yield only limited results."

"PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction -- prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives."