"I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."

"Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long."

"CandyIs dandyBut liquorIs quicker."

"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."

"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."

"The game of life is not much in holding a good hand, as in playing a poor hand well."

"If everything on earth were rational, nothing would happen."

"The police.....always wanting to play games."

"Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of carelessness, incapacity, or neglect."

"God is a verb."

"You can't leave footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?"