"You can never learn less, you can only learn more."

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

"At least when I was govenor, cocaine was expensive."

"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions."

"The training of children is a profession, where we must know how to waste time in order to save it"

"Love is a common bond that occurs between two people when each thinks they have something to gain through the other's stupidity."

"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."

"Failures are very public, and successes are short lived. It's the pleasure of drawing funny pictures that makes up for it."

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

"Let us watch well our beginnings, and results will manage themselves."

"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it."

"Ethics are so annoying. I avoid them on principle."